just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
