so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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