You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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