I just gift wrapped bread.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
