I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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