im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
