pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i out mim tonsoeep
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