It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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