Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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