Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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