So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
