Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
