I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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