the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
