You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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