You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
