Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize