I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
