chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
