We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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