I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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