Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
