Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
