Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
