she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
