$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
