But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My vagina is officially offended.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
