Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
