Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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