I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
