I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
