I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
