guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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