I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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