well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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