she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
