You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
