I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize