dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize