Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
