it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
