Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
