I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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