she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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