Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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