And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
