Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
