Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
