Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
