she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
