yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
