her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
