i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
