1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
