I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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