I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
