That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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