You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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