Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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