YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Bring me that man meat
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
