you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm both gender and math confused
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
