I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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