This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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