There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize