Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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